Tough Family News to Share

It is hard to know where to begin...so I guess I will go all the way back to the beginning.

In June 2007, when Travis and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary we decided we were ready to add to our family.  Since I had always wanted to adopt we didn't even try to get pregnant we just began the adoption process.  In May 2010 we were blessed with the opportunity to travel to Korea to bring Isaiah home.

In March of 2011 Travis and I again decided we were ready to add to our family.  Within three months we found out we were pregnant and due in February 2012.  My sister was pregnant and due very soon so we quickly got a picture to capture us being pregnant at the same time.

However, before my sister even delivered her healthy baby boy I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks.  We were very sad to say the least, but we didn't feel like God was asking us to do anything different so we continued the journey.  Three months later we found out we were pregnant again and due in June 2012.  However, this pregnancy also ended in miscarriage at just 5 weeks.  I couldn't believe that I had to experience two miscarriages.  It was/is awful!  We lost two children that we will never know on this earth.  I believe our babies are in heaven, but that doesn't offer much hope on a daily basis.

Since having two miscarriages in a row I was concerned maybe something was happening that we needed to research a little more.  I began reading online why people might have multiple miscarriages.  I found sources that suggested undiagnosed diabetes could lead to miscarriages.  We have diabetes in our family history so I asked my mom what she thought and she didn't seem concerned.  I talked myself out of being concerned too because I wasn't really having any significant diabetes symptoms.

I did ended up keeping my pregnancy appointment on Nov. 17- even though we had miscarried-to discuss with a midwife about what could be happening.  I figured they would want to do lab work.  I had hoped everything was fine and was mostly just doing this to confirm pregnancy was an option for us.  While at the appointment I mentioned my research finding and sought the midwifes opinion.  She said there were no way I was diabetic...I didn't look or act like a diabetic.  We did the routine lab work and I left the office.

We had dinner at a friends house that evening. We stayed up a little late packing for our weekend trip to Madras.  I slept well and got up Friday morning and headed into work.  Around 8:30am I got a call from my midwife.  She told me I proved her wrong and that I was diabetic.  My glucose level was over 400 and that I needed to leave work.  I remember going across the hall to tell Heather, one of the 1st grade teachers that I had to leave and wouldn't be able to service her kids.  I was crying and she kindly gave me a hug and said it was no problem for them to keep their students.  I then remember going down  to the office and finding my principal...still crying I told her what was happening and she said yes, go.  I called Travis and he left work to catch a bus to come meet me.  I drove home, called my principal to let her know I got home safely.  I got another call from my midwife and she told me to go to Sherwood Urgent Care.

My mom and eventually Travis met me at Sherwood Urgent Care.  My blood sugar reading was now over 500. Multiple people were in and out of the room giving me information and collecting information.  I had to have more lab work done, and the medical assistant didn't collect enough blood the first time so I got to have blood drawn twice.  I was scared, upset, uncomfortable, frustrated, mad, and many other emotions.

By 11:00 am I had already been given my first injection of insulin.  I was sent home with instructions to test my blood sugar levels before meals and return again on Saturday to get another dose of insulin.  When I went in on Saturday I figured they would do the injection, but on just day 2 of this new diagnosis I was asked to inject myself.  And so began the journey of daily injections...which quickly began multiple daily injections! 

And so began the journey of MANY doctors appointments and MANY trips to the pharmacy.  Most of my appointments have been helpful, but still a difficult change to have to include 1 or 2 doctor appointments per week into an already busy schedule and especially since Isaiah is not a fan of going to my doctor appointments.  I love my primary care doctor and my diabetes education nurse, the two women who are helping me manage my care for the short term.  I saw an endocrinologist doctor, who I did not love so I am in the process of trying to establish care with someone else.   

Since being diagnosed, I have continued to experience many varying emotions. I moved from being mad, upset, and frustrated to survival mode and then returned to mad, upset, and frustrated.  I know things will get better with more time, but right now those words just doesn't seem to help much.  I would appreciate your continued prayers as we continue to learn about how to count carbohydrates and manage my care.  We are also seeking God's wisdom about what decision needs to be made in regards to how we are to expand our family. 

Currently we were told we can not try and get pregnant until my blood sugar levels become more stable (they are way better, but still fluctuate more than we want them to do so).  My primary care doctor said this could take approximately a year for my body to achieve (but every person's body responds differently).  Right now my pancreas is still producing some insulin and is in a honeymoon phase.  Eventually my pancreas will completely stop producing insulin and my insulin injection amounts will increase.  For now we know just know we can't have a baby...so we are lead back to the thought that perhaps we are supposed to adopt again.

Adoption isn't a clear solution yet either though.  Korea is moving SUPER slow right now.  We have heard families are getting their referrals but then having to wait a year to a year and half before they get to travel.  This doesn't settle well with either of us.  There is also the unknown that Korea may accept us again now that I have diabetes as a medical condition.  China might be an option, but we have to be 30...and I don't turn 30 until next August...so no rush on making this decision.  All that to say we have lots we are considering as we think about our family growing.  We know that even with this health condition (set back) we are called to have more children and Isaiah is going to be a big brother.  I guess the timing just isn't completely clear yet.  For my own heart healing I hope that is sooner than later.